LIFE OR DEATH
SALLY MOORE
Can coaching provide a safe space for people to ask for help about their mental health issues – before it’s too late?
I don’t follow football so, before his death, I didn’t know who Gary Speed was. The extent of the press coverage, including tributes and recognition of his achievements, means I now know much more about the Wales football manager and player. What an overwhelming tragedy for his family and those who knew him.
Reactions to his suicide in November have understandably been characterised by shock and dismay. Beyond the tributes, emerging themes include how he apparently showed no signs of distress to those around him, how he seemed to “have everything” and how well his life seemed to be going, especially at work. In his professional life, he was young, successful, popular and well-respected.
Photographs taken in the few hours before his death show him smiling with fans and colleagues.
It is inappropriate to jump to conclusions about what is going on in someone’s mind when they take their own life. However, it seems Gary Speed had troubles that those he worked with knew nothing about. Sadly, this is not unusual for high-achieving, successful men working in male-dominated results-driven environments. It’s unrealistic to think all suicides are preventable, but what difference would it make if it were easier for people to reach out and ask for help?
This has all been said before, of course, but I wonder what role coaches in the workplace could play?
Before I came into executive coaching I practised as a clinical psychologist so I’m interested in how coaches have conversations about mental health, with themselves, their clients and the organisations they work with. When I’ve raised this with coaches I’ve had some alarming reactions including:
- It’s not what coaching is about
- My coachees don’t have mental health problems
- I’m not qualified to talk about that
- I would be uncomfortable having that conversation
- I’m coaching so I don’t have to worry about it
- It’s not relevant – my coaching is about performance.
These comments come from experienced executive coaches. There seems to be a “don’t go there” view of these conversations in many workplaces. I would argue the result is that coaches collude with the stigmatisation and denial of mental health issues at work. This, at a time when stress, anxiety and depression are on the rise in the face of the challenging economic climate. The Gary Speeds of this world clearly show that psychological vulnerabilities do exist and cannot be dismissed or ignored on the basis that coaches “don’t deal with them”.
If Gary Speed, or someone like him, had been your client, what could you have done to make it possible for him to tell you how desperate he really was? What part can coaches play in providing a space in which mental health issues at work can be spoken about rather than denied or ignored? Should coaches explicitly provide this at the outset of coaching or wait for the client to bring it up?
Is the contribution coaches make enough or could we do better? Does the very idea of taking this initiative fill you with dismay? Or is it a way in which coaches can make work a better place?
Think about the position you take on this. Could you justify it to Gary Speed’s family? If the answer is “no”, I urge you to think again. Maybe it could be the difference between life and death.
Sally Moore is a coaching psychologist