Fashion designer Alber Elbaz once said: “When there is a wind of change, we can build a wall to protect ourselves from the storm or we can build a windmill… so we can benefit from the wind and be part of the change.” Work life balance has long been viewed as a women’s issue. But what would happen if diversity increased? How would it benefit both men and women?
Some (feminine) personality traits and behaviours are culturally off-limits for men (and likewise, masculine traits and behaviours for women), so there are feminised issues that men are less likely to engage with than women.
Perhaps the most detrimental of these is the issue of life balance. It’s often touted as part of the solution to the lack of women in leadership, but I firmly believe it’s part of a larger solution for a happier and more productive workforce.
Last year, I met Anthony (not his real name), a put-together 30-something man working in financial services. After sharing that I work as a leadership coach, Anthony asked if I helped people with stress and work life balance. He informed me that work was so busy he’d recently spent three days straight in the office without a single night’s sleep (except for a few power naps), energising himself with coffee and Red Bull energy drinks.
Paying your dues
I was shocked, horrified and also a bit sceptical – was this physically possible? My silent musing was not far off the mark: Anthony’s three-day work binge resulted in an impromptu trip to a tattoo parlour, with no recollection of having gone there, which was interrupted by a call from his mother, with no recollection of his conversation with her or of leaving the parlour and eventually arriving home, where he woke up the next day as his usual self.
Understandably shaken by this uncharacteristic break with reality, he subsequently saw a neurologist, who confirmed that no physiological issues were present, and that Anthony’s state – and actions – were likely attributable to stress and overwork.
Anthony had spoken about this to only a handful of people, all outside of his workplace. He continued to feel the pressure of work and to put in long hours, though not to the same degree, and saw no end in sight to his busy work schedule.
He was paying his dues: this was the way to rise to the top, where he could then relax and take a breath. In perhaps 15 years’ time, he’d be able to discover if this belief was true; though an alternative belief that there was another, less stressful way to ‘the top’ would be unverified.
Zero balance
This is the most extreme example of lack of life balance I have come across. Yet we all continually readjust this balance, and our workplace cultures often do little to support it.
One study of an elite global consulting firm, where it is not unusual to clock an 80- to 90-hour working week, indicated that nearly a third of male employees (and 11 per cent of female) led their employers to believe they were working these hours when they weren’t.
This group, along with the group that truly was working this often, were successful in the company. Employees who openly opposed these working hours were penalised.
Even at companies that take a more tempered view of life balance, policy and practice risk being at odds. Workplace policies that support life balance, such as flexible working and parental and caretaking leave, are often still feminised (seen as a fix for ‘women’s issues’) and/or stigmatised (women and men are ultimately penalised for implementing such policies in their workplace by, for example, being overlooked for a new project or promotion).
We would do well to question whether we, and our workplaces, are as results-orientated as we may like to think. There is a distinct culture of presenteeism in our society. With a lack of transparency in much of our work, presence (presumably the amount, though not quality, of effort) is taken as a proxy for our results. Anything else is typically regarded as somewhere on the spectrum between ‘revolutionary’ and ‘the road to ruin’. This culture is at odds with results orientation. It is hurting our people, as with Anthony, and our businesses.
Getting it right
Other cultures hold dramatically different views on productivity and life balance. In Denmark, working overtime is viewed as inefficient, an indicator of poor time management, and boring (they have a point; rarely do anecdotes begin with the words, “You’ll never believe what happened the other day: I was sat at my desk…”). Denmark is ranked first by the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development for work life balance; the UK is at 23 and the US 29, (of 36 countries in total).
Denmark has one of the happiest workforces in the world (which, in itself, increases productivity), and consistently has one of the highest GDPs in the EU, while the UK (where I write this from) lags behind.
These are facts. The idea that sitting longer in an office chair makes a person more productive is not a fact – rather, this often comes at a cost, not least to our mental and physical health.
In 2014, Sweden (which also has a higher GDP than the UK) began a two-year experiment implementing a six-hour working day. While results are still to be determined, Toyota centres in Gothenburg, Sweden’s second largest city, introduced the shortened work day 13 years (yes, years) ago, with the company reporting happier staff, a lower turnover rate and an increase in profits ever since.
Transparency
Each individual has the opportunity to influence workplace norms for healthy and effective ways of working. As coaches and mentors, we can help our clients consciously choose beliefs that support their goals and values, so they can take action to live in alignment with these. Further, to create the space to live in a purposeful, values-driven and fulfilling way, our clients benefit from recognising and exercising their control over their respective (and ever-shifting) life balances.
To help achieve this, work needs to be made more transparent. Line managers and colleagues need to be made aware of progress against targets and outcomes in order to move from presenteeism to results-orientation.
In this way, whether the goal is a C-suite position, time spent with family, travel or any number of combinations, our clients can remain in alignment with not only what they’re working towards, but how they’re doing so.
Next issue: another feminised issue – emotion
- Nicole Berg is CEO and founder of leadership and development consultancy, Charis Coaching. Coaching at Work has partnered with Charis Coaching as part of its Campaign for Gender Equality.
- www.chariscoaching.co.uk
Join the conversation
Is work/life balance a gender issue and what does this mean for our coaching? Have your say.
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