In this two-part series, Eva Kovacs and Louise Sheppard share findings from their recent research into organisation coach-client matching and what helps and hinders coaches in the meetings.
Part 2: chemistry sessions
There has been little research about chemistry sessions or literature on the topic. Wycherley and Cox (2008) commented that “little is known about the role of chemistry. It is rarely defined and is a vague concept for practitioners and researchers”.
Chemistry sessions are a mystery for many coaches. As one coach remarked, “I’ve been surprised with some I’ve won, and equally surprised with some I’ve lost.”
The topic of how to prepare for and behave in chemistry sessions frequently comes up in supervision but is rarely raised among coaches. This may be due to the competitive nature of chemistry sessions – coaches not wanting to share their secrets of success or feeling vulnerable sharing stories about when they have not been successful.
To get underneath what coaches believe and do in chemistry sessions, we carried out a survey and sent it to approximately 100 coaches, with a 75% response rate. The majority of survey participants had been coaching for more than 10 years and they spanned the commercial, public and not-for-profit sectors. Coaches’ curiosity about chemistry sessions was reflected in the positive feedback we received on our survey questions, for example, a coach commented, “I’ve never asked that, but I want to know!”
One interesting finding was that only 51% of the coaching work participants in our survey undertook, starts with a ‘competitive’ chemistry session. This may reflect the reduced appetite by learning and development professionals to offer multiple chemistry sessions to clients (see part one in this series, Coaching at Work, vol 14, issue 5) and the fact that some types of coaching, for example group or team coaching, are less likely to involve chemistry sessions.
Common beliefs and assumptions
We were interested to find out what assumptions coaches are holding about chemistry sessions and which were helpful and unhelpful for them. The assumptions were related to three different themes: the purpose and nature of chemistry meetings, how to show up as a coach and the outcome of the chemistry sessions.
Some examples of positive and negative assumptions in each of these areas are shown below.
- The purpose and nature of chemistry meetings
Positive:
- It is an exploration of whether two people can work together.
- The work starts here – it is the start of contracting that will sustain the work going forward and is a chance to learn and gather data about a potential client.
- It is good for clients to have choices. Coaching is about helping clients to make choices and the notion of choice starts with the client around who they are going to work with.
Negative:
- Having a choice of more than two coaches is confusing and doesn’t necessarily help the client.
- They are time-consuming.
- They are a bit of a beauty parade and that can feel stressful.
- How to show up as a coach
Positive:
- Building a relationship quickly is the key; I need to connect with the client.
- It is better to be authentic so that the client can experience how you are from the start.
- They should be a taster for the client of what you bring as a coach; they work best if treated as an initial coaching session.
Negative:
- I’m bad at them.
- I find them awkward and uncomfortable.
- They are anxiety-provoking meetings for both parties. It is hard to combine selling and being present.
- The outcome of chemistry sessions
Positive:
- Clients make the decision at an unconscious level and choose on the basis of connection.
- You often can’t tell how they went – you just know when you can’t work with someone.
- Some clients are better for me to work with than others and they are not a predictor of my success.
Negative:
- Many clients don’t know what they want.
- A client will choose the coach they think will give them the easiest time.
- Sometimes losing really hurts. The prospective client has chosen someone other than you and it is personal.
Chemistry sessions provoke a mix of helpful and unhelpful assumptions and it is important that we are aware of those assumptions because they will influence our preparation, behaviour during chemistry sessions and how we feel about the outcome.
If we can manage our beliefs and assumptions so that we hold chemistry meetings ‘lightly’, we are more likely to and show ourselves at our best.
What helps and hinders
The survey yielded a wealth of data about what coaches believe helps them to be successful at chemistry sessions and what they do to get in their own way (see Table 1). The data covers three areas: preparation and mindset adopted, behaviours displayed and the content of the chemistry session.
Tips from learning and development professionals
We interviewed L&D practitioners about their advice for coaches on managing chemistry meetings and have summarised the key points below.
- Keep your bio succinct and specify your coaching speciality and industry experience.
- Show up as a human being and connect with the client: “A coach who wins a lot of work shows clients photos of his children!”
- Be true to your natural approach. Don’t be too ‘vanilla’ or chameleon-like, as some clients prefer a structured, hard business approach and others like to do more explorative, inner work.
- Listen to your intuition and ask courageous questions and share observations.
- Don’t come across as ‘desperate’ to win the work as this is off-putting.
- Provide a metaphor for what you do and your approach as this may resonate with the client.
- Seek client feedback from L&D practitioners, and when you are successful, ask the client why they chose you.
The authors
Eva Kovacs, MSc, PCC, is head of executive and internal coaching at GSK
eva.kovacs@gsk.com
Dr Louise Sheppard is an executive coach with Praesta LLP and a qualified coaching supervisor
Reference
- I Wycherley and E Cox, ‘Factors in the selection and matching of executive coaches in organisations’, in Coaching: An International Journal of Research and Practice, 1(1), 39-53, 2008
Table 1: Chemistry sessions: what helps and hinders
Preparation and mindset adopted
Helps
- Sent questions to the prospective client to consider in advance.
- Did homework on the individual and their organisation.
- Went in feeling unattached as to whether the client selected me.
- Chose to ignore the fact that it was a chemistry meeting and treated it as an initial coaching session.
- Believed that it is important for the client to choose the coach.
- Avoided being the first coach to meet the client; wanting to win and putting on a professional mask.
Hinders
- Overly anxious about needing to win the work and my fee rates.
- Not able to meet the client quickly enough.
- Assumed that it was a ‘done deal’ and didn’t prepare enough, eg, about the client’s organisation and sector.
- Made unhelpful assumptions following the HR briefing about the purpose of the coaching.
- Frightened by the client’s seniority.
- Spent too much time helping the client to understand what coaching is about.
Behaviours displayed
Helps
- Listened beyond the presented agenda so the client felt deeply heard.
- Showed how I work, eg, probed his thinking so that the client knew what it is like to work with me.
- Relaxed and was authentic.
- Connected with the client.
- Demonstrated care and was present to their distress.
- Used humour to add levity so that we were not too earnest.
- Took the lead in shaping the meeting and next steps.
- Was honest about whether I could offer what the client wanted.
- Disclosed about myself.
Hinders
- Talked too much; stopped listening; and took too much air space.
- Oversold myself; demonstrated too much ego; showed off to raise my credibility.
- Was over-friendly; tried to please too much; colluded with the client.
- Was too casual and not professional enough.
- Was too high energy and overwhelmed the client with my observations.
- Was too therapeutic.
- Focused on winning the work rather than on the relationship.
- Failed to establish rapport because of my anxiety.
- Pushed a client to open up too quickly without building enough rapport first.
Content of the chemistry session
Helps
- Said it is a mutual decision to work together.
- Clarified what coaching is and contracted to establish clear boundaries.
- Gave a clear articulation of what I do, why I care about what I do and how I do it.
- Discussed what makes the client anxious and what conditions we need to be at our most authentic.
- Explored what success looks like for them.
- Normalised the client’s issues.
- Challenged the client and raised ‘unspeakables’.
- Shared observations that I noticed.
- Reflected back emotions that I saw and heard.
- Coached them in the moment demonstrating coaching exercises.
- Shared stories about the types of issues and clients that I have worked with and outcomes.
- Discussed tools and psychometrics to benefit performance.
- Said that I don’t see anyone as ‘being broken and needing to be fixed’; it is just an opportunity to look at beliefs and patterns that no longer serve us.
- Said that after the first session, we can stop or choose to continue.
Hinders
- Had an unstructured chat.
- Spent too long reviewing the contract in detail.
- Left too little space for the client to talk about his issues and needs.
- Let the client talk for too long; left myself too little space to show myself.
- Tried to coach too soon.
- Frightened the client by saying that we would explore his past and ‘story’.
- There was a mismatch between the client’s expectations and my approach.
- Got to the heart of the coaching matter but left the client feeling too uncomfortable.
- Had a weak ending to the session; a throwaway line at the end ruined my impact.