Hiring strong people makes good business sense, but they may struggle to be part of a team. Modelling Effective Relating can help the team achieve synergy
In this issue we’ll explore competency in the Co-creating the Relationship cluster, 5) Modelling Effective Relating.
Team synergy is the combined power of a team that when working together is greater than the total power achieved by working separately. Sounds great, but this kind of collaboration is hard to achieve as people struggle to build effective relationships across a whole team. I often hear, “We have hired the strongest people and they are paid well to do their roles, so why is it so hard for them to work as a team?” Strong people might be brilliant, but they often want to play with their own train sets rather than work with their peers to build a transport network for the country!
To collaborate we need to relate. For this reason, modelling effective relating is even more crucial in team coaching than in one-to-one coaching.
Modelling effective relating is defined as “the ability to be energetically available and responsive”. Many one-to-one coaches operate from a mindset of “it’s not about me, it’s all about you”. This can be an effective stance for supporting a client to clarify their thinking. However, the nature of team coaching is about relationships, so coaches have greater impact when they genuinely and overtly engage in the relationship. A helpful mindset is therefore, “We are all in this relationship and are impacting and being impacted by one another”.
When you engage fully in the relationship as team coach, you respond authentically to moments that emerge between team members, and between you and the team. Team member Jock says to fellow team member John, “If you think that’s the answer, you’re more stupid than I thought!”
An authentic response might be, “Ouch, I felt that…” [touching palm of hand on chest and pausing for a moment], “Jock, what impact do you think your comment had on John?” or “John, how did Jock’s comment land with you?” There’s no one right response – just be human and real and maintain an, “I’m OK, You’re OK and They’re OK” attitude.
In modelling effective relating, you can demonstrate holding a different perspective: “I see it differently, I want to understand your perspective more and I also want you to understand mine. Then let’s find a way forward that meets both our needs.” As such, you’re demonstrating working through differences and building on each other’s ideas – a skill which seems remarkably rare in many teams, as people tend to share their opinions more than they enquire about others.
One of the many benefits of working as a pair of team coaches is the opportunity to openly collaborate between coaches: “Carol, I think it’s time for an active experiment, do you?” Also, to openly work through differences.
For example, Carol says to the team, “I am hearing that you have made a decision that you can all support” and you say “I am not sure about that, I sense there is still some concerns that haven’t been named yet, so let’s stick with it.”
Negotiation between team coaches can be powerful for teams to witness, and the behaviour then starts to rub off on the team.
In summary, teams need to relate to collaborate. Instead of taking a stance ‘outside’ the team, simply facilitating the conversation, team coaches have greater impact by intentionally getting right into the relationship with the team.
- ‘The TCS Team Coaching Competency Framework (https://bit.ly/3f2LTFg) © Team Coaching Studio 2017
- Next issue: 6. Active listening
Reference
- G Woudstra, Excellence in Team Coaching: Understanding the Core Competencies, TCS White Paper, 2019
https://teamcoachingstudio.com/resources/ - Georgina Woudstra is an executive coach specialising in coaching chief executives and senior leadership teams. She is founder and principal of the Team Coaching Studio
- www.georginawoudstra.com
- https://teamcoachingstudio.com