Kevin Cowley discusses the importance to coaches of cultural self-reflexivity when looking at the relationship with their
own cultural identity
The last 40 years have seen significant changes to the cultural demographics of the UK workforce. The need for organisations to adapt to these changes and embrace diversity more fully has never been more important and creates significant challenges for people professionals looking to support employee growth and development.
People of different cultures are working side by side, carrying out a multitude of interactions, making high-level strategic decisions, and all without a common point of cultural reference. The possibilities for misunderstandings and miscommunications are numerous and have led to organisations introducing diversity or cultural awareness training.
However, most cultural awareness training is aimed at helping a predominantly white British employees manage the differences with people from other cultures. Focusing on supporting such employees to manage the difference with a different cultural identity than their own merely embraces the concept of ‘othering’, by seeing different cultures as intrinsically ‘different’.
As coaching becomes a fundamental element of core leadership and development programmes it has led to coaching assignments frequently including a cultural element. While the focus of coach development has been on adding a cultural perspective to the coach’s personal coaching framework (Passmore, 2013) it inevitably focuses on coaches developing an awareness of the client’s cultural world view and understanding and managing the differences. Rarely in diversity awareness training or coach development training is the focus on the coach self-reflecting on their relationship with their own cultural identity.
There’s a plethora of writing around cross-cultural coaching in current coaching literature. A quick Google search provides more than 80,000 entries, predominantly reminding us of the need to develop a deeper understanding of the cultural perspective as experienced through the eyes of the client. The literature also suggests that the coaching experience can be improved for the client by encouraging more reflection on how their values, beliefs and action are culturally defined (Plaister-Ten, 2009).
However, there’s a significant gap in current coaching literature concerning the relationship between the coach and their relationship with their own cultural identity and how their thoughts and feelings towards this might impact on how present they are for the client. In particular, where the coach identifies with a culture with a history of oppression how this might play out when working with a client who identifies as culturally oppressed.
The impact of any feelings of guilt and shame as experienced by the coach towards their cultural identity and how they might affect the approach taken and the level of challenge offered, is also rarely addressed.
The research
My dissertation, An examination of cultural self-reflexivity experiences of coaches and their effect on the coach/client relationship – A phenomenological study of 6 coaches, was undertaken as part of an MA in Coaching & Mentoring with Oxford Brookes University. I presented the results at last year’s European Mentoring & Coaching Council global conference. Why did I undertake this research? A client presented with an issue she had concerning her lack of voice in the workplace and senior leaders feeling it was hindering her career progression. She identified as being Indian and talked about her strict cultural upbringing, where she was expected not to voice an opinion and to accept what her father and brother decided.
I realised in our first session that the issue in the workplace could be connected to her patriarchal upbringing, however it wasn’t until our third session that I raised the question, “Do you think your cultural upbringing has any bearing to play on how you are in the workplace?”
For her, this was a lightbulb moment that opened up her thinking. She described being “liberated” and it allowed us to co-explore her deeply held beliefs and ways of being to see if they still served her. It took our relationship to another level, with just one question. Why then did I not ask this question in our first session?
The answer is fear. Fear of addressing cultural issues and being seen as a racist by my client, even if it was potentially an area that would benefit from further exploration by the client.
My research is the first of its kind to focus solely on the relationship between the coach, their cultural identity, the relationship between the two and how this can affect the building of an authentic and empathic relationship with the client.
A descriptive phenomenological approach was taken to examine the lived experiences of six coaches when self-reflecting on the relationship they had with their own cultural identity during a live session with a client with a different cultural identity. The aim was always to capture the essence of the experience as it appeared to the coach, without judgement, accepting it as their experience. The participants all had different cultural identities and a wide range of coaching experience. The only thing they all had in common was they all identified as white.
Though a series of semi-structured interviews, participants were encouraged to reflect on actual experiences and describe what they were feeling in the moment. Three main themes and a variety of sub-themes arose from the conversations.
Cultural identity
“I have zero faith-based identity in the Jewish religion. I consider the Old Testament a bunch of interesting myths and fairy tales, and whatever. The religion has no meaning for me. The cultural identity is something else. That’s what I grew up with. It’s in the humour, it’s in the food, it’s in the outlook on life. It’s the values.”
– Quote from a participant
None of the participants found it easy to relate to a defining cultural identity – and my assumption that they would all identify with a nation state wasn’t always correct. Participants saw themselves as much more than this, referring to cultural values and beliefs, a New York Jew rather than an American, and Jewish from a cultural perspective rather than a religious perspective. Cultural identity though was consistently described as a significant factor in the effective creation of an empathic relationship with the client. Often participants described having a difficult or challenging relationship with their own cultural identity.
Oppressor v oppressed
“There’s the sense of as soon as my first meeting, my first introduction, my first thought is, are they going to view me as an oppressor? Are they going to view me as somebody that will limit their voice? Are they going to view me as somebody that will not really understand who they are and their journey? So, all these kinds of thoughts come through, but I think my overriding thought is, will they see me as an oppressor?”
– Quote from a participant
The possibility of the coach being seen as part of an oppressive culture was raised by all participants. Even the most experienced coaches described feelings of fear connected to being seen as an oppressor. The fear was often described as a ‘block’ to being fully present, creating a need to make some form of cultural statement at the beginning of the session to ‘name the elephant in the room’.
Through naming the elephant, the ‘block’ became a road again and the ‘elephant’ ceased to be an ‘elephant’. Interestingly, two participants identified as coming from an oppressed culture and felt that this gave them permission to challenge more strongly clients identifying from a culture of oppression.
White privilege and coaching
“I’ve understood that I tend to put people of colour up on a pedestal and myself this guilty one who is down below. To really focus on understanding how my own culture has influenced me and the
biases I carry has helped me discover my blind spots.”
– Quote from a participant
The idea of white privilege impacted at various levels, often being the reason why participants identified with a culture with a history of oppression. The use of self-reflection and curiosity was described by participants as helping them to start to accept their cultural history. It wasn’t enough just to identify as white; being white meant having to accept all the history of oppression that went with it and realise that all of their cultural baggage, and their thoughts and reflections, accompanied them into the session with the client.
Guilt and shame
“Paradoxically I am actually being aggressive because I have decided that I have to protect myself from you. Therefore, you must be a dangerous being. By needing to protect myself there’s aggression in it, because I’m deciding that you’re a threat to me.”
– Quote from a participant
Guilt and shame directed towards their own cultural identity was common when working with non-white clients. Some participants described consciously avoiding cultural issues for fear of being labelled a racist even if their instincts told them it would help the client by exploring these issues. Avoidance meant not having to experience painful feelings. One client described not addressing their feelings as like ‘abandoning’ their client.
However, when these feelings were paid attention to with compassion, and shared with the client, participants often described being able to build a stronger, more empathic relationship. This meant taking risks, but it is only through the coach taking risks that the client is likely to do the same.
The ‘block’ needed to be addressed to prevent it remaining a ‘block’. Ownership of feelings enabled a sharing of thoughts, fears and concerns and often redressed the power imbalance than can arise between the coach and the client.
Conclusions
It was only when participants examined their experience and reflected on them at a deeper level that they became aware of a difference in approach when working across cultural divides, particularly when working with non-white clients. Until they were able to accept their cultural history and take ownership of their feelings and emotions they couldn’t be truly present for the client.
Owning cultural identity, in its entirety, and being prepared to share connected feelings and thoughts, was an important step in developing relational depth with the client and creating a safe place for exploration. If the coach wants the client to go on a journey of exploration, they first need to be prepared to explore themselves.
About the author
Kevin Cowley is an executive coach and coach supervisor. After a career as a senior leader within the UK Civil Service he now works with individuals and teams, helping them understand themselves and their potential. Kevin has a humanistic approach, drawing on person-centred and Gestalt techniques, as well as being an NLP accredited coach. He is a Senior practitioner with the EMCC, as well as being an EMCC mentor and holds an MA in Coaching and Mentoring from Oxford Brookes University.
Key findings
- A lack of cultural self-reflection can act as a block to progress and prevent the coach from being wholly present for the client.
- Individual guilt and shame concerning cultural history often prevents the raising of cultural observations with clients, specifically where the coach identifies with a culture with a history of oppression against other cultures.
- Coaches need to own feelings of guilt and shame and attend to them with curiosity and compassion. This makes it easier to discuss personal feelings with clients, allowing an opening of the space to discuss cultural issues without fear of potential accusations of racism or oppression.
- Having an understanding of how culture can influence us and the biases we carry can help the coach uncover blind spots and aid their development.
Examples of themes and sub-themes
Emergent theme Sub-theme
Cultural identity Blind spots
Window / Lens
Assumptions
Oppressor v Power dynamic
oppressed White privilege
Guilt – shame Defence
Cultural identify avoidance
Reparation
Research participants
Identified Coaching Gender
cultural experience
heritage (years)
Jewish 44 M
English 40 F
Italian 3 F
New York Jew 35 M
South African 10 F
Canadian 25 F