Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole
Susan Cain
Crown Publishing Group
978 0451 49979 0
Susan Cain’s Bittersweet explores how those things we struggle most with may, paradoxically, become the path to personal transformation and creativity.
Cain defines ‘bittersweet’ as about longing, poignancy and the duality of joy and pain which are, ultimately, inseparable. She argues sadness, grief and longing can be deep sources of meaning. She points conversely to how a ‘tyranny of positivity’ can cause a relentless avoidance of underlying pain or sadness.
‘Bittersweet’ is also a reminder how we as coaches may be seduced, unconsciously, into collusion with such adaptations if our own personal fears of the bittersweet mean we then fear those same places in our clients.
Cain views sadness instead as an essential doorway to accessing compassion, for ourselves and others. She recalls Jung’s archetype of the ‘Wounded Healer’ as motivation to serve others – something coaching is perhaps still often curiously uncomfortable in recognising?
There is a powerful chapter on transgenerational trauma, how this can show up, and what supports healing. As coaching becomes more trauma-informed, this is vital learning for all of us.
Paul Heardman is a coach and coach åsupervisor. He has an MSc in Coaching from Henley Business School and is on the board of the EMCC UK as director for supervision practice. Paul was awarded Coaching at Work’s 2023 Editor’s Award for Outstanding Contribution to Coaching and Coaching Supervision.