This issue, Lynn Scott explores getting ‘practical’ with the people you coach, starting with a ban on the words, ‘busy’ and ‘fine’
In this article, I share practical tips and ideas for working with those people you coach who tell you they have too much to do and not enough time (that’s everyone, right?)
If you ask anyone at work, ‘How are you?’ The first thing they will say is, ‘busy’.
I’ve banned some of my clients from responding with the ‘b’ word to get them to be more thoughtful about how they truly are. (And ‘fine’ is not allowed either.)
As Tim Ferriss says in The 4-Hour Workweek (https://fourhourworkweek.com), “Being busy is a form of laziness – lazy thinking and indiscriminate action. Being busy is most often used as a guise for avoiding critically important but uncomfortable actions.”
Ouch.
I agree with him based on my own past experience of being great at being busy particularly as an avoidance strategy. I agree with him based on what I see many coaching clients do, too. Ploughing through things on autopilot without a clear set of priorities ‘hoping’ that they’ll be able to fit the important things in around the immediate requests in their inbox.
I addressed many of the deeper-seated reasons why people are ‘ always busy’ in a previous article (Jan/Feb 2022 issue 17.1).
So in this one , we’re going to get practical.
These are the tips and ideas that my clients love, and I bet the people you coach will love them too, but loving them isn’t enough. They have to implement them.
I’ll be honest and say that I was initially reluctant to share my first two tips with my most senior leader clients because they seem so blindingly obvious – but I’ve learned that common sense is rarely common practice and ‘knowing’ something is not the same as doing it.
So let’s start with some ‘blindingly obvious’ ideas that the people you coach may find helpful too.
Empty your diary
When I start working with a new leader client, I ask them to do this first if they’re not already doing it. I invite them to block out at least one hour a week as ‘white space’ or thinking time – a blank space in the calendar. (This space gets bigger down the line, but one step at a time.) Be prepared for resistance. One client of mine was convinced she had no time to spare but now loves her monthly full-focus days away from the office and the laptop.
I also ask them to block out 20 minutes a day, 45 minutes twice a week, or 90 minutes once a week forever more to work on ‘important’ stuff aligned to their top three to five strategic priorities. (When they can’t tell me their priorities, it’s back to the drawing board.)
Their busy calendars don’t impress me and I’ve found they rather love being called out on this – without judgement of course.
I’ll then ask them to audit the meetings they attend that add no value, and we look at options for saying no to these meetings or making them more effective. This is easy for some, less easy for the people pleasers who may be among the people you coach, but that opens a whole new topic around ‘saying no’ and boundaries. Fewer meetings = more space.
And while we’re on the topic of meetings:
Meeting madness
The people you coach will be just like those I coach. Much of their day is filled with meetings, often back–to–back.
We know that when there are no breaks between meetings and these meetings run all day, stress levels spike, which means nobody is doing their best thinking or their best work. It’s good news that many organisations have embraced the 20-minute/50-minute meeting to allow for 10-minute breaks, but a break is not a break if it’s sending a ‘quick’ email. And a break is not a break if every meeting overruns. No one is focused or fully present if they’re worried about being late for their next meeting. This is not a brain-friendly way to work.
A good set of meeting ground rules or rules of engagement is imperative. These should comprise both ‘process’ and ‘behavioural’ ways of working. Some very practical tips:
- An outcome-focused meeting agenda sent out in advance helps people know exactly what they’re there for. An outcome-focused agenda item might be ‘Action: Agree on specific actions to reduce customer complaints by 15% in Q3’ instead of ‘Reduce customer complaints’, leaving people guessing and unprepared.
- Five to ten minutes at the end of each meeting for everyone to briefly summarise their actions and next steps.
- The ‘car park’ – when anyone goes off-topic, they’re asked to put the issue in the metaphorical car park for discussion another time.
For behavioural ground rules, I’ve been most successful when I suggest that the leaders I coach ask their teams to develop best practices for making meetings effective, engaging, focused and inclusive. Then, it’s up to everyone on the team to own these rules rather than the leader to
‘police’ them.
Ambiguous communication
Lack of clarity – verbal and written – wastes enormous amounts of time. But you knew that already.
This is where you can genuinely support the people you coach to be effective communicators. Ask them to describe their priorities, vision or expectations, and you’ll see immediately whether these make sense. If what they say is unclear to you, it won’t be clear to anyone else. Please don’t sit on your hands and say nothing: help them formulate their ideas in a way that is crystal clear.
Let them experiment with language and if they do a ‘fast forward rehearsal’ with you, you’ll be able to help them shape their message much more clearly. If one of their coaching goals is to communicate more effectively, be the one to help them ‘in the moment’. For my ‘going round the houses’ clients, we often agree that I’ll interrupt them if they go off on a tangent or don’t answer the question. They love this because many of their colleagues are too polite to do this and my clients truly want to improve their skills. They also love the idea of a metaphorical pause button: a pause for five to seven seconds before responding to a question rather than filling the space.
If they’re frustrated that they’re not getting buy-in for their projects, help them understand the importance of connection and relationship building. Help them know how to see clearly what is most important in the minds of the person they’re trying to influence. Help them ‘first seek to understand’.Help them change any overly self-deprecating or diminishing language and equally help them see how what they say sounds harsh, abrupt or aggressive and is likely to push people into a fear state.
When the people we coach struggle with ‘not enough time’ it’s our chance to work with them on the practical as well as their more deeply rooted thoughts and beliefs – and to challenge some of the cultural beliefs too.
- Lynn Scott is an ICF Master Certified Coach (MCC), director of Lynn Scott Coaching and founder of The Effortless Leader Revolution. She’s a leadership and team coach, coach supervisor and ICF Coach Mentor: www.lynnscottcoaching.co.uk
- You can join her free Facebook group for leaders and managers, The Effortless Leader Revolution, for more leadership tips and resources that work in the real world: www.facebook.com/groups/effortlessleaders